Weight ...

My weight is out of control. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how I got here. It wasn't that long ago that I was fit and in great shape. I was proud of my body and its curves and tone. Now I am 50 pounds heavier and very sad. 

I go through this cycle often in my life.  And I don't know how to control it. 

Food is my comfort. When I'm stressed, sad, bored, tired, and hungry, I turn to food. It offers me some gratification, but the lasting effects make me sad-a moment in the lips and my hips will forever punish me. 

I have an appointment with a hypnotherapist today. I am hoping to get some motivation and will power out if it. In the meantime I'm on a liquid diet. I make soups out of everything. It's good. Lots of vegetables. Lots of shakes. Lots of water and lemon juice and cranberry juice and vinegar. I just have to find some control. I have to learn to take back my body. I have learned mindfulness when it comes to my crazy emotional mother trauma, but I just can't kick the food thing. 

Hopefully this week is the start of some change in my life. Wish me luck.